


Roads We Go Down

by sorryuser



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Dorks in Love, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feels, Fights, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Road Trips, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorryuser/pseuds/sorryuser
Summary: Roadtrip. Feelings. Kissing. Pushing.When Jaebum wakes Jinyoung early in the morning to coax him into a spontaneous roadtrip, will all go well or will everything go wrong? Everything is spilled in this story.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! This is my first JJP fic so bear with me!
> 
> follow me on twitter for updates: @ultjaebumi
> 
> THE WHOLE FIC IS DONE, i'm just posting them in chapters and not all at once so i promise this won't be left unfinished.

This fic was inspired by JJP's "Tomorrow, Today" photoshoot/Verse2 which gave me MAJOR roadtrip au feels and scenes. So, i decided to write it and it ended up as a five chapter fic!

 

This fic will be updated every two days.

First Chapter: Aug, 26th

Second Chapter: Aug, 28th

Third Chapter: Aug, 30th

Forth Chapter: Sep, 1st

Last Chapter: Sep, 3rd

 

**FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, I HIGHLY SUGGEST IT IF YOU LIKE THIS FIC SO THAT YOU CAN RECOMMEND OTHER FIC IDEAS ON MY TWITTER THAT I MIGHT LIKE TO WRITE AND SHARE IT ON TWITTER TOO!**

 

**MY TWITTER: @ultjaebumi**


	2. Blue On Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it all begins.  
> Read on.

The wind outside Jinyoung's windows had just begun to make the air chilly. When the clock struck five in the morning, his phone rang. The sound alerting him that Jaebum was calling, considering his ringtone for the man was different from everyone's else's tone—which was still set to default. It stopped after three plays, releasing Jinyoung from it's wakening grip and letting him trip back into a shallow slumber. Fifteen minutes had gone by before it rang a second time, it finally succeeding in making Jinyoung stir awake this time. The obnoxious noise was meant to mimic Jaebum, it did a brutal but effective job at that.

Jinyoung reached, it felt as if his bedside table had hopped farther since he went to sleep and was now ten feet away. Though it was an exaggeration, it was all the same to Jinyoung. He hummed when he answered the phone, still too lazy to open his eyes or even form words for that matter. He heard a soft chuckle from Jaebum, it made Jinyoung's stomach twist—a fact he'd never like to admit to anyone or acknowledge again.

"Not up yet?" Jaebum asked, his voice was rough and he sounded like he'd just woken up too. Why he was calling Jinyoung was somewhat a mystery to them both. But, Jinyoung didn't question it, he liked talking to Jaebum. It was a mixture of stupid jokes, dirty secrets, immature impersonations, and talks of seeing the world out of a world tour. Cheesy but, real—they were cheesy and real. Sometimes, maybe only to Jinyoung, it was scary how real they were.

"Am I supposed to be?" Jinyoung replied, sitting himself up in the suddenly cold bed, his hand rolling over the empty side of it. They'd slept in the same bed only once, while on tour. Management had made a mistake, leaving two of the members to share a bed together—no idea how they managed to screw up that bad. Though Jaebum was against the idea at first, he'd given in when Jinyoung suggested that they'd put a barrier in the middle of the mattress. That night, they'd fallen asleep, one either side of the barrier. But, they had woken up in each other's arms. Jaebum was warm and even though it was hot out, he was the type of warmth Jinyoung never wanted to leave.

"Yeah," Jaebum strained, probably stretching his tired and sleep deprived limbs, "we're going on a road trip." The last time Jaebum had arranged a road trip, he came over the Jinyoung's home and fell asleep on the couch within ten minutes. Jaebum was disappointed in himself though, mad at himself for not going through with his plan and letting laziness overcome him. But, this time, something in his voice was different. It was softer and more determined to get Jinyoung in a car with him to head across whatever land he'd set his mind on traveling across.

Jinyoung made a startled noise, kicking his legs over the side of the bed, he heard Jaebum smile at the sound, "Since when?" It was an important question. It told Jinyoung how long he'd been up, what he'd been thinking about, how long he'd been planning this road trip with Jinyoung—how long he'd been thinking about Jinyoung.

"Since an hour ago." Jaebum was still calm, probably grinning on the other side of the phone at Jinyoung's reaction. He'd decided on this an hour ago but that didn't tell Jinyoung how long he'd been thinking about it.

"Where?" Jinyoung asked.

"So, you're in?" Jaebum replied, he didn't sound surprised. He sounded hopeful, happier. Almost like, if Jinyoung had declined—told him to just go to bed or called the whole thing a stupid idea—Jaebum would've been truly hurt, maybe even unforgiving towards Jinyoung.

Jinyoung sighed, "Where, hyung?" He scratched the back of his head in deep thought, really considering the idea.

"I'm gonna see the world, Jinyoung-ah, and you have to be there. I'll be at your place in an hour." The click that sounded told Jinyoung that he'd hung up, effectively hooking Jinyoung on his trip. He looked down at his phone in a sort of disbelief. Locking it and throwing it behind him, hearing the soft thud of it hitting the sheets. He stared out the window, tilting his head as the lights in the nighttime city flooded the hardwood floor of his room.

Jinyoung shut his eyes for a moment, "It would be nice to get away." He mumbled to himself, rubbing his eyes then. The world was silent for a moment, maybe for just a second, but it was peaceful. His mind wasn't being bombarded with things he needed to get done and things he needed to begin. He sat there longer than he thought he did.

Forty minutes had passed by since Jaebum had hung up on him—forty minutes of Jinyoung lost in his head.

He quickly stood, trudged to his closet, and began to pack his biggest duffel bag with the clothes he'd thought he needed. Jaebum didn't tell him where they were going, what they were gonna do, or even how long they'd be gone but it was still getting chilly outside and if they were traveling in that constantly breaking down red and white truck Jaebum somehow loved and cherished, they wouldn't get too far.

He'd found his comfiest and warmest sweater—despite it being knitted and riddled with small holes, though that was it's design—and shuffled on a pair of blue jeans. As he slipped on his shoes, a knock sounded at the door. He hopped towards it as he struggled to get his other shoe on. While using the doorknob as leverage he popped his foot into the shoe and opened the door to see Jaebum.

With a white t-shirt layered under another white with only three buttons—all of them unbuttoned—and his blue jeans that were darker than Jinyoung's own, he stood with only a backpack in sight, "I guess I overpacked?" He said, moving back inside his apartment. Jaebum followed him in, and chuckled, tightening the straps of the bookbag.

"Probably not. My bag is in the truck." Jaebum replied, confirming that they might not be able to go far, "I just have my personal stuff in here." Personal meant his camera—that never left his side—some clean pairs underwear, tank tops, and maybe even a hair comb or two.

"We must not be going anywhere far if we're taking that hunk of metal." Jinyoung mumbled while walking into his bedroom to get his duffle. He smirked at Jaebum's loud sigh, the amount of times Jinyoung's trash talked his truck was possibly in the triple digits now.

Jaebum sucked his teeth at Jinyoung's retreating back, "Hey," He drew the word out, "I got her a bit of well needed tune ups. It's like she's good as new." He heard Jinyoung scoff from the other room and smiled to himself. When they were kidding around, Jaebum was happier—though he'd never admit it because he wasn't raised that way. He was raised to marry a woman and have children with that woman. He was brought back by Jinyoung's vanilla scent passing him by like a wave.

He stood in the doorway of the entrance to his apartment, duffel in hand, as he waited for Jaebum to move. Their eyes connected and Jinyoung smiled, "So, are we gonna go or are you already having second thoughts and plan to sleep on my couch tonight?" His voice was smug and naive and it made Jaebum chuckle, "Why are you so happy?" Jinyoung cocked a brow as Jaebum passed him through the door.

"I don't know." Jaebum shrugged, waiting for Jinyoung to lock his door so they could begin their journey, "Or maybe I do know." He teased and Jinyoung knocked their shoulders together, beginning their decent down the stairs and to the basement parking lot of the apartment building.

Jaebum's truck looked better, more sturdy, but still capable of breaking down in the middle of a vacant road at midnight. Jinyoung spared a glance at Jaebum while their steps echoed through the car filled parking lot. He didn't look worried, he looked happier and less stressed than when they were on tour. The bags under his eyes had almost vanished and his eyes were brighter, crinkled at the corners as a tilted smile captured his lips. Jinyoung looked away before his mind wandered.

The road felt smooth, the sky was still dark, and the city lights shined brighter up close than from the other side of an apartment window. Jinyoung liked the way the colors flew over his exposed skin, dancing across it quickly and adding life to his plain white sweater. Jaebum saw Jinyoung's head move quickly as he followed the street lights out of the corner of his eye.

"How long has it been?" Jaebum asked.

Jinyoung looked towards him, he hummed in confusion. The lights running across Jaebum's face made him look softer and it made Jinyoung sleepier—it made him think about sleeping next to Jaebum, how much warmer he'd be and how much safer he'd feel. It was a different thought, one Jinyoung shouldn't be having and should never think again. It's too dangerous.

"Since you've actually gone outside to see the city rather than rushing to get from one place to another, not being able to just stop and enjoy the view." Jaebum said, switching into a different lane. He focused hard when he was driving, he called himself a "driving expert" though he acted like a father watching their youngest child drive when someone else was in the drivers seat. Jinyoung smiled to himself.

He comes back with a shake of the head, "It was only due to our busy schedule. Plus, I'm enjoying the view now." he says, looking out his window again before Jaebum's eyes could connect with his, "I still don't think I've been missing out on much, though." He played it off like it didn't matter as much as he knew it did, tossing a shrug for added effect.

"Your eyes say different." Jaebum said and it fell silent again. Nothing but the sound of the cool breeze entering the car through the cracks at the tops of the windows. It filled the truck with varieties of smells that made Jinyoung somewhat drool, he remembered then that he hadn't eaten at all. His stomach growled on cue, "Did you eat?" Jaebum asked, it was a stupid question, he knew it was. But, if he asked, Jinyoung would answer.

"What do you think? I woke up two hours ago." Jinyoung retorted, crossing his arms over his chest, almost childishly. Jaebum looked at him for a second, giving him a warning type look—one of which Jinyoung replied to with the raise of one eyebrow.

Jaebum turned into an upcoming burger joint, the drive thru being nearly empty due to the time, "You're mean when you're hungry." He said as he looked at the menu.

"Naturally." Jinyoung mumbled, leaning forward to take a look too. The city had no sympathy for salads, it never did. But, in the rarest of occasions when it did, they'd add in things a salad shouldn't have, "None of this looks healthy." He said.

"It's a fast food place, I don't think it's meant to be." Jaebum replied, beginning his order.

Jinyoung learned that Jaebum could eat a burger with one hand and that a burger for breakfast gave him the best feeling in the world—It gave off the feeling of a real road trip and a rebellious teenage lifestyle. At one point Jaebum began to choke and the truck swerved, Jinyoung took hold of the wheel as he coughed out the culprit, a lone pickle slice. Jinyoung began to laugh loudly, covering his mouth with his hand, and soon Jaebum joined in too.

They'd driven for hours and Jinyoung stared out the window every second, watching as the tall buildings and busy streets slowly transformed into country fields and skinny, one lane roads. Jaebum knew where he was going, he'd probably researched the locations a million times, Jinyoung knew this because a GPS wasn't going—Jaebum always needed a GPS when going somewhere, afraid that he'd get lost, which at most times he did even with a GPS on.

The smell of the country side was different from the city, it had less variety, more of a small group of scents. Grass, trees, flowers, and even oil. All different scents to Jinyoung usual city bound one's—also considering the fact that he'd only ever stepped foot in an auto repair shop when he was younger. He wondered if Jaebum had been this far out before, whether it be by himself or with a girl. Jinyoung rid the thought from his head quickly, blinding himself from looking too deep into it.


	3. Crickets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old truck isn't the best way to travel on a roadtrip.

The difference between seeing things from a loud tourbus rather than a whining truck is that everything looked smaller. While in a small truck, like the one they were in then, Jinyoung felt as if he could reach out and touch the grass and the flowers growing within it. He felt closer with the world, a feeling he'd never really had the opportunity of properly feeling, it felt relieving since his mind was finally blank.

He rolled the window down and let his arm hang on the side of the door, the now warm air flowing over his arm. Then the truck began to sputter, it stuttered and jerked to several stops until it finally came to a full halt, a high pitched screeching escaping from under the hood as it shut itself off completely. They both froze, Jaebum being the first to actually open the door and check what the problem was—well, what it was that time.

Jinyoung stuck his head out the window, he watched Jaebum pop the hood and smoke emerge from it in a large grey cloud, "I'm guessing that's not supposed to happen?" He called out, eyes squinting in a playful way because he knew nothing about cars. Only how to drive them and when a certain light went off on the dashboard to take it in to an auto shop—he'd never gotten that far though.

"What? Turn itself off and smoke? It's not a transformer or a ticking time bomb, Jinyoung, so, no. That's not supposed to happen." Jaebum said as he placed his hands on his hips and took a step away from the truck, tilting his head for a moment, "Help me push it out of the road." He said, remembering they were still in the middle of a narrow street. Though no one was coming, it was still a smart idea. Jaebum pushed from one side of the truck and steered it towards the green grass on the side of the road, Jinyoung helped from the opposite side of the truck.

They left both doors open while Jaebum worked on the truck, Jinyoung used the manual window handle to lower the windows glass down and perch his feet out through the sill of the trucks door. The book in his hands became less and less interesting and harder to read as the sun began to sink lower and lower. The loud slamming of the truck's hood being shut startled Jinyoung, somewhat because it was so abrupt and another reason being it was getting darker and darker and it made him nervous. He had no idea what was out there but he'd seen enough horror movies to have an idea.

Jaebum sat in the truck then, pulled his phone out, and tapped away at the screen. Jinyoung stared at him for a moment, watched his fingers move quickly and his smile light up at some of the fans comments. Jinyoung may have smiled to himself too but he'd never admit it. He watched for just a second more—forcing himself to speak.

"What did you do?" He asked, ridding his face of his goofy smile and giving Jaebum a more serious look.

Jaebum shrugged, "I fixed it."

"So, why aren't we moving?" Jinyoung asked, mocking his tone and his shrug—a dangerous act but one he'd done several times since he'd met Jaebum.

"It has to sit over night." Jaebum pocketed his phone, giving his attention to Jinyoung. He knew Jinyoung was scared of large fields at night, mostly because almost every horror movie they've seen takes places in similar scenes like the one over the white picket fence less than a foot away from them. Even though Jinyoung didn't want to admit it, and probably never would, he was undoubtedly terrified.

Jinyoung's brows arched in a equal mix of surprise and terror, "What? Cars sleep now? Where are we gonna sleep?" He asked. He had an idea, but he didn't want Jaebum to say it. The thought itself already sounded uncomfortable.

Jaebum laughed, clapping Jinyoung on the shoulder, "You can sleep in the truck, I'll sleep back there." He pointed his thumb at the bed of the truck. The ridges of it looked painful and uncomfortable to Jinyoung already, even though he wasn't the one sleeping back there. Jinyoung's heart ached at the thought.

"You're joking, right?" He asked yet another question, hoping this was all a prank and the car was, in fact, drivable right then and there. Just enough to get them to some type of hotel, any type of hotel. He'd never slept in a truck—then again he'd never went on a spontaneous road trip before either.

"It's not that bad, Jinyoungie." Jaebum said in a childish tone, pinching Jinyoung's cheek. His hand lingered on Jinyoung's cheek for just a moment but he'd felt it even after Jaebum had pulled away. He exited the car and Jinyoung stared in disbelief as he took the sleeping bags he hid in the back and layed them out. Jaebum looked unbothered and Jinyoung began to believe that he'd planned the whole thing—it was too real, though, there was no way. He squinted his eyes at Jaebum's unknowing figure in slight suspicion then sighed to himself.

"Think of it as camping." Jaebum called towards Jinyoung, still smoothing out the sleeping bags to make the uncomfortable situation as comfortable and sleepable as possible. Jinyoung just rolled his eyes at that. How the older could be so calm in a situation like theirs was a mystery to him, one he didn't know if he'd ever really solve.

Jinyoung scoffed, pushing open the back windshield of the truck that hovered over the bed just for Jaebum to hear him and maybe for slight comfort too, "I hate camping." He states, shoving his sweater off, adjusting his tee, and bundling it up to mimic a pillow. He curled up on the trucks long—and shockingly comfortable—seat and shut his eyes. But, he didn't drift, not in the slightest. He was too aware his eyes were closed, that he wanted to and needed to sleep, so his body wouldn't let him. His body was more focused on what could happen while his eyes were closed.

"Bad example." He heard Jaebum say to himself.

Jinyoung rolled over, facing the steering wheel but sleep still wouldn't consume him. He sighed, annoyed and painfully wide awake, "Jinyoung-ah? Are you okay? I promise we'll have somewhere to stay tomorrow." Jaebum sounded sincere and Jinyoung's heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to show Jaebum that he was enjoying the trip and that every trip had it's mishaps—this being a major one.

There was something else that was forbidding Jinyoung to sleep. A cold burst of wind blew in through the open windows and told him what he'd been missing.

Jinyoung sat up, exited the truck, and stood at its side. He used one of the tires and propped his foot on it, pushing himself up and over the side of the truck and into it's bed. He saw Jaebum freeze, staying frozen as Jinyoung laid next to him, pressing his chest against Jaebum's side and resting his head on his shoulder.

It was silent.

"You're really close." Jaebum mumbled while he let out a slow breath. Jinyoung could feel his heart, the hard thumping of it made him smile. He wanted to know why. Why Jaebum was so nervous, why he froze at Jinyoung's touch, why his voice became smaller the closer Jinyoung got. Jaebum knew the answer, only Jaebum knew the answers to those questions and only he could reveal them. Would he ever? Probably not.

Jinyoung pulled the blanket onto both of them, "I'm cold." He mumbled against Jaebum's shoulder, shutting his eyes tightly as he chased sleep, the fight being easier then. Jaebum was soft and Jinyoung hated the thought of having to wake up and not be pressed against him ever again. He felt uneasy then, the things running through his mind already tiring him out.

"And?" Jaebum asked, he still hadn't moved an inch but his breathing had settled back to normal.

"You're warm. One plus one equals two, hyung." Jinyoung's voice became lazier and lazier as he drifted farther and farther.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were scared." Jaebum sounded nervous to say it at first but halfway through he had let it come out smoothly.

Jinyoung smiled lazily against his shirt, his hand wrapping around Jaebum's wrist tightly under the blanket, "Well, you don't know any better." He'd said it slower than he'd thought he would've.

Jaebum pushed on, "It's safer in the truck, you know?" He had a voice that even he was unsure what it meant. Whether it meant he was happy to have Jinyoung so close to him or if he was terrified at the fact, most likely a bumpy mix of both.

"Ah." Jinyoung poked his side and proceeded to press against him harder. Sleep met him halfway and shook his hand, pulling him into a exhausting hug and consuming him in the process of it all. Jaebum had felt him slowly go limp, at one point he pulled his arm from between their bodies and wrapped it securley around Jinyoung.

Jaebum's focus had ascended on the night sky and his ears had perked at the sound of the crickets chirping softly. He couldn't help but wonder how much the stars resembled Jinyoung's eyes. They were shining and so was he, but there were too many similarities and Jaebum couldn't name them all, even while Jinyoung slept. The twisted feeling in his stomach returned and he shut his eyes, the hand on Jinyoung's back gripped the cotton of his shirt.

* * *

 

Jinyoung had woken up to his head knocking softly against the window as the truck made its way down a bumpy road. He stayed with his forehead pressed against the cool glass, following the quickly moving plants and fence posts to wake him up.

Jaebum sensed him stirring, felt the presence in the truck change and add, it told him that Jinyoung was finally awake, "You should've seen the sky last night. It was straight out of a masterpiece." He said.

The sun shined bright on the truck and the A/C was blowing on medium, "How long have we been driving?" Jinyoung asked, yawning and stretching his arms forward.

"Two hours, not that bad." Jaebum said.

Jinyoung hummed, nodding, "What were you saying about the sky?"

Jaebum took his phone from the seat between them both, tapped on it with his eyes switching between it and the road, and tossed it into Jinyoung's lap. He began to scroll through the pictures, the stars were bright—so bright they were actually visible with the phones cameras quality—and the night sky was a dark blue, complimenting the stars occupying it with a blush. He kept swiping until he couldn't swipe anymore, then he went back. He settled on the picture just before the one Jaebum had set for him to start at, it was of Jinyoung himself. One he hadn't noticed Jaebum had took. He grinned, eyes darting to Jaebum for half a second before he clicked out of the photo library and placed the phone down between them again.

He turned his head to face the window again—finding it easier to stare outside rather than keep a straight face, "I want to be a masterpiece." Jinyoung found himself saying, he didn't regret it. He was captivated by the outside—by the way so many things could look so different and still be a masterpiece on their own. Joined together, they were even better, paired—like he and Jaebum—they created beauty in a world that could be ugly a majority of the time.

Jaebum's hand had gripped the wheel tighter for a moment as they turned down a dirt road, "Paintings have no life to live." He spared a short glance at Jinyoung, "You do."

Jinyoung laughed at that, the back of his hand had come up to cover his mouth as he tilted his head back in amusement. Jaebum smiled to himself as Jinyoung laughed—more at the fact that Jinyoung was genuinely laughing and less at the fact that he thought he was funny.

"Then what are we?" Jinyoung asked. It was a genuine question, though he wanted it to sound like a silly one he really didn't care to know the answer to. But, he truly wanted to know what Jaebum's answer would be.

"Artists." Jaebum replied in an exaggerated and extra tone, he flared his fingers in the air as if he were adding a magic touch—it was more of an extra touch, one that Jinyoung rolled his eyes at.

Jinyoung chuckled, "Cheesy."


	4. Dandelions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was as expected as finding a dandelion in a grass field.

The road they'd been traveling down had become narrower and narrower as they turned down several different streets, at one point Jinyoung believed they were lost. Though they weren't, it still made him smile to himself as he joked, "We've passed that tree before." He turned towards Jaebum while pointing out his window with his brows knitted together in false confusion.

He heard Jaebum chuckle, the sound making the tops of Jinyoung's ears tint a light pink, "Impossible, we're not lost." Jaebum was confident, he gave the wheel a quick squeeze. Not out of nervousness but out of how excited he was. Whatever the next stop was, it most likely meant a lot to him.

Jinyoung hummed, raising his brows, "How sure are you of that?"

Jaebum stayed silent for several minutes longer as they turned down another road, this one being wider than the ones they'd been on before, "Pretty sure." He said pointing forward. Jinyoung followed his hand, his eyes locking on a bright red barn and a small house accompanying its side, "We're here." Jaebum said before he parked the truck and exited it. Though hesitant at first, Jinyoung followed soon after, traveling on the unleveled gravel ground and immediately dirtying his once white sneakers.

"If you think I'm milking a cow or frolicking with you in grass field then you're incredibly wrong. I'm not a fan of grass fields." He called towards Jaebum, who had already strolled up to the small home, attempting to unlock the door.

Jaebum turned his head back, raising a brow at Jinyoung, "And cows? What's your problem with them?" He asked.

"Nothing, I just think they don't want a stranger massaging their nipples." Jinyoung replied and Jaebum laughed, opening the door successfully with a rough shove of his shoulder.

The sun had reached its highest peak when they entered the cozy and colorful home. The heat already seeping in through the walls as Jaebum clicked the A/C on, it rumbled to life within seconds—and with a short toss of Jaebum's hand to finally get it up and running and actually working.

Jinyoung followed him outside again, taking this bags out the truck and lugging them inside again, "Who's farm is this?" He asked, cruising the home and ending in the living room. He shrugged his heavy duffel onto one couch while Jaebum tossed his tiny luggage onto the other.

"My grandfather, on my mothers side." Jaebum replied, Jinyoung knew why he added the small detail.

"Is he—?" Jinyoung had cut off his own sentence, hoping Jaebum understood what he was silently asking.

"Alive, healthy, and breathing? Yeah." Jaebum chuckled.

* * *

  
The cold water that ran down Jinyoung's skin left him sighing, after two long days in a truck with a barely working A/C and only changing clothes once, it was much needed. He'd never been a fan of cold showers, the feeling usually stung his skin and left him feeling sick, but everything was different in his certain situation. He felt too warm, all the time and every second—whether it be because of the weather or due to the company of Jaebum, his skin was always hot against Jinyoung's—so, he had to cool himself off.

After he turned the cold shower off with a turn of the screeching knob, he'd let a towel hug his hips loosely and dragged his hand across the foggy mirror. He ran his fingers through his dripping hair and shook it then pushed it back, getting small beads of water on the mirror and around the modest bathroom.

Immediately after he opened the door, the cold air from the finally chilly living room, hit his skin and made him shiver. He took another towel from the rack and wrapped it around his shoulders, attempting to warm himself while he searched for clothes to sleep in—which only took five minutes considering he only brought three pairs of pajamas, he didn't think they'd be doing much sleeping in an actual home—mostly driving.

He noticed Jaebum was gone then. Eyes searching the small living area for an idea on where the older had gone. Jaebum had opened his own bag and left it ajar but he was nowhere to be seen. Jinyoung made a confused sound to himself and got dressed quickly—uncaring of what he'd wear anymore as long as he didn't step out in just a towel, or worse, nude.

To the left of the small house they were staying in was the barn, Jinyoung had seen it the minute they pulled up to the cozy place. But, what he hadn't seen was the large field of grass and scattered flowers fenced in to the right of the home. He didn't see it due to the empty chicken coops that obstructed their view while still in the truck.

Jinyoung's bare feet struggled against the diverse sized pebbles until he reached the white picket fence—which was obviously an ongoing theme in this area—and jumped it, his feet landing on the soft grass with an uncomfortable sigh. As he looked up, his eyes landed on Jaebum immediately. He had taken the camera from his bag and his eyes were shut as he leaned his head back and basked in the warming sun. The wind blew gently adding character to the grass below and his hair.

He had his arms extended out and his camera hung from the safety harness looped around his wrist. Jinyoung couldn't help but see that he was happy—happy to be out here, happy to be away from it all, the screams, the business, and the constant tiring dance practices. Jinyoung found himself smiling too and an unfamiliar feeling pooled in his gut, one he was becoming too familiar with.

Their eyes connected for a moment as Jinyoung neared him. Jaebum's had a type of electricity behind them, spiked and harsh while Jinyoung's had diffused themselves, heavy lidded and locked—locked on Jaebum, no doubt. The closer Jinyoung got the more details came into view, like the dandelion in Jaebum's other hand and how it was still intact, unblown and beautiful.

Jaebum spoke first, "I thought you said you hated grass fields." His voice was tame.

Jinyoung smiled at the fact Jaebum remembered the tiny fact, he nodded, "Oh, I do. It sucks, terrifying."

"Then why are you here?" Jaebum didn't mean to make it sound rude but, nevertheless, Jinyoung knew what he'd meant.

Jinyoung's eyes roamed the field, the grass moved with the wind still as if they were dancing to a silent song in sync, then back at Jaebum—happy, ecstatic, and content Jaebum, “Because, you seem to like fields.” He shrugged, attention falling back onto the flower being held captive in Jaebum's hand.

Jinyoung reached for the flower, but Jaebum moved it out of his reach, grinning at him, "You want this?" He asked teasingly, nodding his head towards the circular flower then looking back at Jinyoung. He reached for it again and Jaebum gave him a challenging look, moving the dandelion away from Jinyoung's hand when he reached for it once again.

Jinyoung took a step forward—testing the waters and squinting his eyes—causing Jaebum to take a step back. It was silent for a bit, the sound of birds chirping and the leaves in the towering trees rustling filling their ears. Then, Jaebum turned and ran, circling the field and protecting the dandelion from losing it's flying pedals as he laughed to himself. Jinyoung followed closely, but not close enough to catch Jaebum or the dandelion for that matter.

He was getting cocky, Jinyoung knew he was due to the amount of times he kicked his feet up in the air, clicked them together, and laughed loudly. Jaebum turned, he started running backwards as he taunted Jinyoung with the dandelion. And this was childish, all of this was without a doubt childish but it was too fun to quit. Jinyoung began to chase his mind, thinking how much it would hurt when they had to go home—go back to the loud city.

While lost in his own head he didn't see Jaebum fall. He'd tripped on a large scrap piece of wood in the field and fell backward, and Jinyoung—who hadn't stopped running until it was too late—fell straight on top of him. Though, he stopped his fall just in time with hands in the dry dirt on either side of Jaebum's head. His hands gripped at the dirt as his legs moved to straddle Jaebum's lap. Jinyoung pushed himself up and brushed his hands together, taking the dandelion from Jaebum's frozen hand and twirling the stem between his fingertips. After thinking for one long second, he blew at it, watching the small specks get carried up and into the sky by the wind.

The butterflies in Jaebum's stomach stirred annoyingly, it felt as if they were having a brawl, "Did you make a wish?" He asked as he took his camera in hand, acting as if he was unphased by the position they were in and was flipping through the photos he had taken. Jinyoung nodded at his question. He'd quickly snapped a photo of Jinyoung, his eyes were bright as he stared at the naked stem and he looked—Jaebum stopped his mind before it wondered.

Jaebum waited for him to spill the wish, when he didn't he spoke again, "What was it?" He raised his brows.

"If I told you then it wouldn't come true." He stood then and the butterflies Jaebum felt seemed to vanish along with the warmth of his body, he held his hand out for Jaebum to take, "And usually, when someone takes a shower the whole point is to get rid of the dirt, not get dirty five minutes later." He smiled.

* * *

  
Putting a puzzle together was better while not being yelled at by six different people and only being talked at by a man who weirdly takes puzzles very seriously. Jaebum was stealing glances at Jinyoung—more than he usually did. He'd noticed this when he was pushing a puzzle piece into it's rightful place and noticed Jaebum's hands hadn't been moving, when he looked up their eyes had locked and Jaebum looked lost, unusually lost and unsure of where to go.

Every sense crashed together all at once, Jinyoung couldn't process it. The way Jaebum's palm felt against his cheek, soft but rough. How he was so close that Jinyoung could smell him, his freshly washed skin radiated the scent of clean sheets with a hint of orange slices. He felt Jaebum's wet hair tickle his forehead and Jaebum's lips against his, slow yet too fast. Before Jinyoung could process everything or anything, Jaebum was pulling away from him, the back of his hand pressed against his lips with his eyes shut tightly as if he'd just made the worst decision of his life. Which—knowing Jaebum the way Jinyoung did—he probably felt as if he had.

"That meant nothing." Jaebum mumbled against his hand, making a show of wiping his lips.

Jinyoung scoffed at him, moving the puzzle pieces in his hand to the other in an awkward manner, "It didn't feel like nothing." He said, sitting back on the heels of his feet. His cheeks burned and Jaebum's lips lingered on his still, he sensed the feeling would never truly leave.

Jaebum finally met his eyes, "Forget about it."

"Easier said than done." Jinyoung said.

"I said forget about it." Jaebum stood then, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him with a loud bang. Jinyoung finished the puzzle in silence, on his own.

* * *

  
They had changed their clothes for bed again, backs facing each other, of course. As Jinyoung turned to grab his shirt, Jaebum's naked torso caught his attention. He'd been waving his top to loosen it and shrug it on but the curve of his back kept Jinyoung locked. He followed the arch up, his pupils tracing Jaebum's neck and shoulders, Jinyoung could see his heartbeat though the vein pulsing against his neck, it was quick.

The couches were more comfortable than Jinyoung had thought. He'd fallen asleep quickly, the last thing he remembered was Jaebum staring at the ceiling and breathing deeply, an arm behind his head and a finger poking at his chest. His eyes searched the ceiling like he was looking for an answer to the question he'd been asking himself too many times a day. A question he thought about when he watched, sang, laughed, and even slept. A haunting question that he most likely didn't want to know the answer to but was dying to know.

* * *

  
Jaebum had never gotten used to the smell of eggs and toast in the morning, so when he had woken up in the cold home he was confused for a moment. When he sat up, he had a perfect view of the kitchen and watched as Jinyoung scurried around it, doing too many things at the same time but timing everything just right to not burn a single food. Yawning almost relived him of his sleepy state and he stood, trudging into the kitchen, announcing himself as to not startle Jinyoung.

"Smells good." He mumbled, his voice was horse as he rubbed his eyes awake, opening them wider and scanning the variety of food on the table.

Jinyoung turned to him, transferring the freshly cooked eggs to an adequate bowl, "Ah, you're finally up. What time did you sleep last night?" He asked, it was a genuine question. The answer was that Jaebum had probably only slept two hours last night.

"I don't know, but, I slept." Jaebum shrugged, "Where did you get this food?" He questioned, picking up a piece of cooked egg from its bowl and plopping it into his mouth, changing the subject and throwing it back onto Jinyoung.

Jinyoung swiped his hands on the apron he'd found, the lettering on it spelling out 'KISS THE COOK' which made Jaebum shift on his feet, "I drove the truck into town, hope you don't mind. But, I felt like burgers for breakfast three mornings in a row wouldn't have been the best idea." Jinyoung smiled at him, shut the stove off, and untied his apron.

They ate in a somewhat comfortable silence—more comfortable than Jaebum had thought considering what had happened the night before. Jinyoung had forgotten, he told Jinyoung to forget about it and he did. Jaebum didn't know why his heart had clenched at that fact but he preferred not to look into it—letting things go was a specialty he wasn't proud of.

Jaebum gulped down the last of his food and spoke, "There's this bar I want to check out, it's about three hours away. So, we better get going." He clicked his fork against his empty plate to fill in the silence as he watched Jinyoung stand, take their plates, and wash them. Jaebum told himself to watch Jinyoung less but he'd never been great at taking others advice, so, taking his own wasn't a sure thing to happen.

They were on the road soon enough.


	5. Hontori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small towns hold big developments.

Three hours had gone by quickly in the ongoing jumping truck. The trees passing by like seconds had gotten less and less green and more brown. Jinyoung looked away from the window and forward, noticing then that they were swiftly approaching the smallest town he'd ever seen. It only consisted of three large buildings and several smaller ones around.

The sign read: 'WELCOME TO HONTORI'

Jinyoung tilted his head at the odd name, sparing a glance at Jaebum, "Hontori." He said it, feeling how it rolled off his tongue and left a foreign taste in his mouth, "Hontori?" He questioned then and Jaebum laughed, smacking Jinyoung's arm in protest. He clutched his arm in fake hurt, deciding against hitting Jaebum back—a smart decision in his mind.

Jaebum stared at him for longer than a second, causing Jinyoung to gesture with his eyes to turn back to the road, he smiled to himself due to the look Jaebum had in his eyes, "Stop that." Jaebum said, adjusting his jacket and bringing it closer to himself. Jinyoung kept that noted.

Jinyoung had just shrugged, "I didn't do anything."

Jaebum sucked at his teeth, mumbling, "You're judging it by its name already." He was right. Jinyoung had a habit of judging things he had the faintest clue about. If it looked weird then it was weird, if it looked gross then it was gross, if it looked stupid then it was stupid. He was smart, but that didn't mean he had the openest of minds. Jaebum knew Jinyoung too well, it was a blessing and a curse all in one mix.

Jinyoung sighed, "It sounds like a type of soup. How can I not judge a soup sounding town?" He questioned and Jaebum mimicked his sigh childishly. He rolled his eyes and turned the radio on, static filled the truck almost immediately and he cringed, "And there's no radio stations out here either? How do these people live?" He mumbles to himself, turning the radio off.

"These people," Jaebum began with a hint of annoyance in his voice and a quick raise of his brows, "live just fine." He switched the radio back on and tuned it, successfully finding a station and making Jinyoung frown.

Silence filled the truck for a few more miles until Jinyoung felt Jaebum's eyes on him, again, "Maybe focus on the road and not so much on me?" He mumbled as he typed away at his phone, struggling to find a strong and working signal.

Jaebum shut his eyes for a second, "I wasn't looking at you." He points towards the outside of Jinyoung's window, "That's the bar I was talking about." He chuckled and turned the truck away from it, pulling into a motel.

* * *

  
Jinyoung had never stayed at a motel quite as run down as the one they were in. The wallpaper was seconds away from peeling completely off the wall it was attached to, the tv was a dinosaur—as in it still had antennas connected to it for better satellite signal. The town was truly stuck in the 90s or they'd traveled back in time when passing over the town line.

"One bed. It's all they had, sorry." Jaebum apologized, dumping his bag—deja vu definitely being an ongoing theme for the trip. By the time they got back to the city their bags would be no more if they kept taking care of them the way they had been.

Jinyoung waved his hand in dismiss as he yawned, quickly speaking, "We'll just put a barrier in the middle, as we always do." He sounded pained at the suggestion, not obviously but Jaebum still heard the small hint in his voice.

"No extra covers." Jaebum pointed out.

"Then you'll just have to deal with sleeping with another guy." Jinyoung mumbled loudly, trudging off into the bathroom and leaving Jaebum in a state of shock and embarrassment. This trip was meant to sooth them but it turned out making Jinyoung question them—question everything he'd been feeling and what Jaebum had said.

* * *

  
Jaebum's ears perked up when the bathroom door opened after several minutes of silence, "The club's across the street." He said and Jinyoung nodded, ignoring him in a certain why—not quite listening to him yet or paying any type of attention, "Ah, what's your problem?" Jaebum's arms crossed as he nudged his chin towards Jinyoung.

"I'm tired." Jinyoung whispered, it hadn't entirely been a lie, laying in the bed and turning his back towards Jaebum. He sighed heavily, hoping Jaebum had acknowledged his slight annoyance with him. The bed shifted several times, signaling that Jaebum made himself comfortable on the bed—something Jinyoung didn't know he was truly capable of, that was the annoyance talking.

"Hey, it's only four in the afternoon." Jaebum nudged his back, waiting for Jinyoung to turn his head towards him, "Wanna watch a movie? A show? Or do you really wanna take that nap?" He teased, lightening the mood to a bright white and causing Jinyoung to smile faintly. He shrugged, accepting Jaebum's offer after several seconds of thought and moving to lay on his back.

Jaebum leveled their shoulders when he laid back, brushing them together and making his stomach twist. He pulled his phone from his pocket, "We'll have to watch it on my phone considering the TV," He gestured to the hotel given television across the bed, "isn't quite up to date yet." They shared a laugh as Jaebum tapped away at his device, opening a movie they both hadn't seen before.

It all had happened in steps. Jinyoung had shifted closer, claiming the screen was too small and he could barely see it, he shifted down and had pressed his cheek against Jaebum's shoulder—almost mimicking how they had been in the truck bed just two nights ago.

"That made no sense." Jaebum said, locking his phone and tossing it when the movie ended. Jinyoung made an agreeing noise, keeping his place close to Jaebum, his arms still crossed over his chest. They stayed silent then Jinyoung pulled away from him, the warmth leaving with him, and pushed his hand under his head.

Jaebum found his eyes wandering, his head turning, and his pupils scanning—scanning every part of Jinyoung's face as if it would be his last. The way his arm was bent behind his head and he was staring up at the ceiling as if it were spelling out words and speaking to him, it made Jaebum's heartbeat speed up.

"You stare a lot, you know that?" Jinyoung said while he smiled at the ceiling, soon turning his attention to Jaebum, "Is there something on my face?" He whispered in a teasing way. Jaebum's smile appeared for the slightest of seconds before it dropped along with his eyes, which landed on Jinyoung's lips.

Jaebum pushed forward, Jinyoung's lips were soft against his as he began to kiss back. They were getting lost, Jaebum's brows scrunched together and he breathed out deeply through his nose, his hand gripping at Jinyoung's hip as he tried to pull him closer. Jinyoung's finger's tangled themselves in Jaebum's hair as if they never wanted to leave. The angle was too awkward and Jaebum was too focused—too focused on making it count and kissing this man and getting answers. Though he only got answers to questions he didn't know he'd been asking.

Jaebum had pulled away—Jinyoung chasing his lips—with eyes shut tight and his hands gripping the sheets for dear life, "I'm sorry." He said.

A scoff erupted from Jinyoung's chest as he sat up and shrugged carelessly, "If you were truly sorry, you'd stop doing it." He murmured, his fingers danced on the sheets, trying to rid his mind of the feeling of Jaebum touching him the way he just had.

Jaebum stared at Jinyoung's back in utter question, "Are you angry with me?" He was genuinely confused, it only made Jinyoung shake his head in frustration and tilt it back as he started at the ceiling once more.

He turned to Jaebum then, "You're fucking with my head. How could I not be a bit angry with you?" Jinyoung stood then. His heart was racing, his hands were shaking, and his eyes were finding places to look other than Jaebum's eyes.

"I promise, I'm not." Jaebum shook his hands in defense.

"No? So, you're just using me to test out what you're into? I'm just a guinea pig, right?" He stood, running a shaky hand through his hair then crossing his arms again. He'd found a way to look Jaebum in the eyes—a way he'd never want to reveal because it revealed too much about him.

"Jinyoung-ah." It was all Jaebum could say. Tiresome and dangerous seconds ticked on until Jinyoung discovered he had nothing to say—or he didn't want to say anything, maybe with the fear that Jaebum would figure him out. Which he already did, long ago.

"Damn you." Jinyoung chuckled bitterly as he shook his head.

Jaebum stood, "Screw you." He retorted, shocked at how Jinyoung was reacting.

Jinyoung's brows rose at that, "Maybe, that's the problem." He said lowly as he leaned forward with crossed arms.

Something in Jaebum's eyes had broken; fear, or knowing, or even truth. He'd pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he shook his head in disbelief then walked off, locking himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Jinyoung had sat on the bed, burying his head in his hands and thinking too deep of thoughts that possibly weren't healthy for the brain.

It only took those several minutes for Jinyoung to muster up the courage to leave the suffocating hotel room, scribbling words onto the hotel provided notebook and leaving it where Jaebum could read it whenever he was done using Jinyoung for his needs. That's how he'd seen it and that's possibly how he'd always see it—his gut hadn't deceived him.

* * *

 

the note read: 'ACROSS THE STREET, DRINKS HURT LESS.'

Jaebum scoffed as he crumpled it up and tossed it across the room, letting out a loud yet short yell—ones he did when he was frustrated and found no other way to calm down or let it out—as he spun and sat on the edge of the bed. He did it more often than he'd like to admit, alone at home, while with the rest of the members of the group, when he didn't know what to do or where to go next. His leg jumped in anticipation as he felt that he was running out of time—which he wasn't but the feeling was still there.

It had gotten chilly when the sun went down, the wind blowing harshly and making Jaebum zip his hoodie up and shove his hands into his pants pockets. The solemn music coming from the patio of the bright bar across the street flowed softly as he crossed the street quickly, and pushed the heavy doors of the bar open. His eyes began to scan the near full bar as he stood at the doorway awkwardly.

He'd found Jinyoung almost immediately and his heart had twisted in on itself almost as quickly. His brows rose as his back straightened and he watched Jinyoung, from afar, speaking to a gorgeous girl. Her hair was a light brown and she sat with a laid back pose and he was smiling at her as if they'd know each other for years and he was starting to fall for her. Jaebum tilted his head slightly at the thought, twisting its words and making a different story. Their eyes then finally met and Jaebum just gave him a straight forced smile, quickly turning and pushing through the door again.

He wanted that, but the problem was with who he wanted it with. Jaebum swore he heard a faint yell of his name.

The door hadn't had time to close fully before Jinyoung was pushing past it too, stopping and turning Jaebum with a strong hand on his shoulder, "Are you," Jinyoung paused to crack a sly smile, "angry with me?" He joked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jaebum scoffed, "Don't flatter yourself."

"Then what was all that?" Jinyoung said as he pointed his thumb back towards the bar.

Jaebum shrugged with tense shoulders, "Nothing, I'm headed back to the motel."

"Wait, hey. What's your problem?" Jinyoung mimicked Jaebum's words as he tilted his head in a teasing and knowing way. He knew Jaebum, yet he didn't know what he was going through. Him being cocky was one of the many ways he got people to talk to him—to prove him wrong.

"I'm tired." Jaebum repeated Jinyoung's reply from hours ago, "I'm sure that girl in there will give you nice company." He nodded his chin towards the bar, giving Jinyoung another smile before pushing his hands in his pockets and turning away from him.

"You're joking." Jinyoung mumbled to himself, watching as Jaebum crossed the street with a quick glance to the left, then right, then left again.

* * *

  
Thirty minutes—that had felt like thirty hours to Jaebum—passed before a knock sounded on the hotel room door, a sort of signal before Jinyoung opened it and strode into the room cautiously, "Hyung?" His voice was smaller, timid and unknowing—for once in his whole life he had the faintest idea on what to do in a situation like the one he was thrown into.

Jaebum hummed in response, eyes focused on the ceiling as he laid back on the bed. He stared at it, trying to find the answers Jinyoung was looking for not too long ago, when they were okay, when they hadn't kissed and Jaebum hadn't messed up their relationship.

"Tell me what's wrong." Jinyoung didn't sit on the bed yet, he stood at the foot of it, staring at Jaebum's calm body—watching his chest move up and down slowly and it soothed him. It soothed Jinyoung to a point where nothing bad had happened and they were okay. Jaebum speaking dragged him from that trance.

"The motel doesn't have room service. But, what was I thinking? They don't even have rooms with two beds." Jaebum turned onto his side and brought the hood of his jacket over his head.

Strangely, Jinyoung's heart ached at the the answer. It only told him what Jaebum wanted to forget the whole ordeal, "I'm serious." Jinyoung sighed.

Jaebum lifts his head from the stiff pillow and spares a bored glance towards Jinyoung before shutting his eyes again, "So am I. Nothing's wrong." He moves his body as if to get comfortable on the immensely uncomfortable bed.

"Jaebum—" Jinyoung tried, pulling at the cuff of Jaebum's jeans childishly, attempting to get his attention—any ounce of attention that told Jinyoung that Jaebum was here or at least listening to what he was saying. Jaebum just pulled his legs up higher, curling in on himself slightly.

"Nothing's wrong." Jaebum repeated.

"You said the kiss meant nothing." Jinyoung mentioned, watching as Jaebum's shoulders got more tense and his shut eyes squeezed tighter.

Jaebum didn't answer, leaving Jinyoung in a deafening silence.

"Ah!" Jinyoung screamed, frustrated, and startled Jaebum, "Stop hiding from me. If this is about the bar then let it go. Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen." Jinyoung didn't know why he felt the need to reassure Jaebum that nothing was going to happen, maybe there was a small bit of hope in Jinyoung's mind that wasn't lying to him.

Jaebum laughed darkly and unphased as he sat up to stare at Jinyoung in pure and utter disbelief, "Who told you I care? I could care less who you fucking hook up with." He threw his hand carelessly as he stood and wandered around the room—unable to keep still then.

"Acting like you don't care isn't letting it go." Jinyoung's eyes followed him, eyeing every move he made—from the flick of his finger to the rise and fall of his chest, from the twitch at the corner of his mouth to the rapid tapping of his foot. Then he grabbed the keys to the truck and thumbed his shoes on.

"Where are you going now?" Jinyoung sighed, dropping his hands against his thighs, as if he'd given up in that moment.

"We're," Jaebum corrected as he twirled the keys around his finger once, carelessly, "going to the last stop of this trip." He finished and opened the motel door.

* * *

 

They rode in the truck in a still silence, uncomfortable yet comfortable enough to not have to speak. The road they were headed down was pitch black, only the headlights of the truck could shed so much light on the road, "I was looking at you." Jaebum spoke, turning down a skinny road then.

Jinyoung turned his head from the window he was staring through and looked at Jaebum, he raised his brows in confusion, "What?" He asked.

"When you told me to focus on the road and not so much on you and I said I was looking at the bar, that was a lie. I was looking at you." Jaebum mumbled and Jinyoung had opened his mouth with the intent to reply but nothing came out, nothing would come out. He had words dancing at the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them instead, nodding.

* * *

  
They arrived at a lake, Jaebum backed the truck up to it and had gotten out before Jinyoung could ask why they were here. The truck bed faced the large lake with a small tide, Jaebum stood where the lake's water barely rode up to—after he'd opened the truck bed. The moon shone brightly and cascaded across the dark blue rippling water making the moon look longer and wider than it actually was.

"I'm sorry." Jaebum apologized.

Jinyoung stayed stood at the bed of the truck, "The amount of times you've apologized on this trip is phenomenal." He said.

Jaebum stayed quiet, watching the bright moon to bring himself to begin speaking, “Who are you talking to nowadays? Who’s keeping you up at night with wonderful things to say? What do your nights look like?” He asked while Jinyoung strode down to stand next to him, a good arms length away.

"Do you want me to answer truthfully or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?" Jinyoung replied, crossing his arms over his chest and bringing his sweater impossibly closer to his skin as a cold gust of wind pushed past them and tousled their hair slightly.

Jaebum answered after several beats of his fast heart, unable to count how many per minute, "Truthfully." He replied.

"You." Jinyoung said as if it were nothing, like it was the obviously answer that anyone in their right mind could see—which anyone in their right mind did see.

Jaebum did nothing but nod until curiosity got the best of him, "And what did you think I wanted to hear?" Jaebum's brows rose and he stuffed his hands deeply into his pockets.

Jinyoung smiled to himself smugly as his eyes scanned the tall trees towering over the lake, some creating a sort of throne for the moon, "You." He repeated and saw Jaebum try to hide a tilted smile, "What are we doing?" Jinyoung said, letting a small laugh escape from his lips as he shook his head and kicked the rocks on the ground, watching them skip into the shallow waters.

"We're talking about the kiss." Jaebum said, breathing out a deep breath—almost like a sigh of relief.

"Kisses." Jinyoung corrects, "Plural." He finishes and Jaebum nods, unsure of where to start. So, he faces Jinyoung's side, hoping he'd get the hint and face him aswell—which he does after an obvious roll of the eyes. He looked tired, even though he'd been sleeping. But, that doesn't mean he was sleeping well for that matter. Jaebum frowns at the thought and Jinyoung tilts his head at that.

"I thought it was nothing." Jinyoung lied.

"Well, I thought it was too. But, it's not. It's far from nothing. It's everything," Jaebum stops a moment before whispering, "you're everything." He never really was the best at letting his feeling out or expressing himself openly so this was a big one up for him.

Jinyoung's brows raised as he let out another soft chuckle with a smug grin, staring at Jaebum and taking a tentative step towards him, "Cheesy." He mumbled as he nodded. His arms were still crossed over his chest, possibly tighter than before because it had, without a doubt, gotten colder.

"Why isn't this weird?" Jaebum asked, tilting his head and shutting his eyes as he gave a straight smile, lips pressed together. He tilted his head back and opened his eyes to the sky, the stars in it spelling out answers, questions, and needs.

"Do you want it to be weird? I can make it weird if you want." Jinyoung joked as Jaebum tilted his head down to look at him again, "You seem comfortable when you're being weird." He says it in a honeyed voice—proving to Jaebum that he was okay, that they were okay.

Jinyoung breaks their eye contact, looking down at the dirt ground then back at Jaebum, as if to break the stiffing mood, "So, tell me." He says simply and somehow Jaebum knows exactly what he's asking for, what he wants—and practically needs—to hear.

"The things I feel for you aren't seen as normal. What would people say?" Jaebum said, the weight on his shoulders lifting drastically.

Jinyoung grinned at the confession, a pink tint invading his cheeks severely and adding color to the dark blue night, "You know, sometimes it just doesn’t matter what people say, who says it and how many times. Sometimes all that matters is how you feel. And that can override everything else around you.” He said, sighing.

"But that's exactly it. It does matter, because of who we are." Jaebum reminds, unplugging Jinyoung's brain and making him remember who they were, what was always waiting for them just hours away.

Jinyoung nodded, a small hum escaping his lip, "Being out here makes you forget some things." He shrugs, "Which is always good." He takes another step forward, now in Jaebum's space. The heat radiating off his skin instantly made Jinyoung warmer, though he didn't touch yet—wanting Jaebum to take the crucial task. His breath didn't hitch and his shoulders didn't tense, Jinyoung smiled to himself as he stared up at Jaebum with squinted eyes, like he was looking for something.

"What?" Jaebum asked, voice breathy and barely audible. Jinyoung just shrugged at the question before his pupils followed the curve of Jaebum's cheeks and then scanned the trees behind him, turning his head then back at Jaebum with a small frown played on his lips. His acting had always been good, "What is it?" Jaebum questioned.

Jinyoung leans in closer, their noses brush together and just the feeling pushes chills down his spine, "Will you kiss me even though there's no bathroom to run to and wash your mouth out?" He asked and Jaebum gave him a shy smile, wrapping an arm around his waist and cupping one side of Jinyoung's face with his free hand. He trapped Jinyoung's crossed arms between their chests, making him warm almost instantly.

The kiss was different. Way more different than the previous ones they've shared. Less rushed and forced, more slow and accepting. Though Jaebum hadn't fully accepted himself yet, it was a process he finally decided to begin down. Their lips moved in near sync and Jaebum pushed forward, attemping to deepen the kiss with a hand on the back on of Jinyoung's neck. He just smiled against Jaebum's lips, turning the long kiss into small pecks as he laughed lightly,

"If I asked you to forget about this. To forget that kiss ever happened. You wouldn't, would you?" Jaebum mumbled against his lips, he could see all the shades of Jinyoung's chocolate brown eyes,

Jinyoung squinted at him again, in suspicion, "Would you want me too?" He asked.

He shook his head, pressing his forehead against Jinyoung's, "No. But, say I did." He wrapped his other arm around Jinyoung's waist, effectively warming him. Holding Jinyoung felt like too much to Jaebum, it felt as if he were holding something too delicate and easily breakable but it was Jinyoung—one of the strongest people Jaebum knew.

"I'd never speak of it again, but I couldn't just forget it." Jinyoung replied.

"So, you wouldn't forget it." Jaebum smiled.

Jinyoung shrugged, "It's not my decision to make, it's my brain and my heart. Sometimes they don't like to work together." He whispered the last sentence to Jaebum, like it was a secret.

Jaebum pulled his face back just enough to look at Jinyoung's, laughing lightly, "Cheesy." He said, repeating what Jinyoung had said before.


	6. And Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it all concludes.

They started back the next day. Jaebum held Jinyoung's hand as long as he could during the drive back to the busy city—after moments of hesitation. Everything seemed brighter on the way back, their eyes, the grass fields, and the sky were all lighter. The people greeted them with smiles as they would past them in the cars, riding through more small towns on the way before being thrown back to the loud city.

* * *

  
The hallway to Jinyoung's loft was a comfortable one, much different to the cold hallway of Jaebum's place. The lights illuminating it were a soft white and the doors covering it were a tint of blue. It reminded Jaebum of Jinyoung, a weird comparison that oddly worked. Jaebum squeezed Jinyoung's hand as he thought deeply and strolled down the corridor, lazily and in no hurry.

"You're coming inside, right? You're probably tired from all that driving." Jinyoung asked as he pulled Jaebum from his mind and began to unlock his door. He looked back over his shoulder at Jaebum with a cocked brow and pushed the door to his empty loft open. The sound added a slight ease to Jaebum's heart.

Jaebum turned him with both hands on Jinyoung's waist, pulling him into a tight hug, "Jinyoung-ah, thank you for coming with me on this trip and for accepting me." He mumbled against Jinyoung's shoulder before pulling away, he didn't let his hands linger for long, too afraid that he'd never let go, "But, it's late. You should rest." He added.

Jinyoung scoffed, "And you shouldn't drive."

"I'm tired, not drunk." Jaebum corrected, looping his keys around his finger and spinning them.

"Ah, same difference. Stay the night." Jinyoung reached for his hand, grabbing his duffel in the other. He pulled Jaebum into the loft and Jaebum let him, with a sheepish smile on his lips, and shut the door behind them. Jaebum gave in almost immediately.

"My bag is in the truck." He said.

"You left some sweats here a while ago and you can borrow one of my shirts. See, now you have clothes to sleep in. I know you're not staying forever." Jinyoung replied, beginning to tidy up his bedroom—though it wasn't exactly a mess, more of things being misplaced. That's how he'd explained it.

Jaebum squinted his eyes, "But, could I?" He tested.

"Could you what?" Jinyoung asked, paying no mind to the question.

Jaebum stood straighter then, "Stay forever." He mumbled.

"As long as we split the rent." Jinyoung said, tossing a pillow from the bed at him with a light laugh and Jaebum just smiled, catching it as it hit his chest.

Jaebum watched from afar, eyeing Jinyoung intently. He could stare all he wanted and not feel as if he'd broken a law, "You're a miracle." He blurted out but he wasn't ashamed of himself for saying it. The atmosphere was different that time.

"We haven't even been dating for a week and we're already at the sappy compliments stage?" Jinyoung chuckled and Jaebum's stomach flipped at the official statement. Jinyoung turned towards him for a moment, "And I'm not a miracle, merely a blessing." He waved his hands in the air as if showing a banner in front of him.

Jaebum dismissed the comment, "I don't have to date you to know you're a miracle." Jinyoung smiled at that as he finished making the bed. He stepped towards Jaebum and circled his arms around Jaebum's neck.

"I don't have to date you to know you're cheesy." He mumbled as he leaned forward to peck Jaebum's lips. Though, as he pulled away, Jaebum chased him, capturing Jinyoung's lips in a warm kiss. They stayed like that more several moments, taking each others lips.

Jinyoung had pulled away—fully—first, smiling as he pressed his forehead against Jaebum's with a soft hum, "I'm gonna take a shower." He escaped Jaebum's tight grip and disappeared into the restroom.

* * *

  
As Jaebum laid on his back with Jinyoung's head rested on his chest, he felt at ease with a rush of tiredness sweeping over him. He swiped his hand up and down Jinyoung's back in comfort and Jinyoung shifted closer to him. Considering the last time they'd slept in the same bed there were complications, he felt this was a better act—it was right, he has comfortable, and he found someone that was almost as weird as him in different and accepting ways. He smiled softly as he stared at the ceiling, the bumps on it seemed to spell out the answer to all his problems.

'HIM.'

Sleep came easy that night, patting him on the back and wishing him happiness.


	7. [Authors Note]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A note from me!

_**I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you have anymore JJP AU ideas, whether they be chaptered or one shots, don't hesitate to drop them in the comments section below. Thank you for finishing my first JJP fic !!** _

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to follow me on twitter for updates: @ultjaebumi


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